Presents

“I don’t want presents. Let’s take that money and spend it on you somehow.” -Brandon

Talking about gifts he might want for his birthday.

 
 

Looking For Tequila?

(Brandon pats bed)

“Looking for Tequila?” -Me

“No. Looking for cans. Probably the same thing.” -Brandon

Brandon sleep talking.

 
 

Tappybears

“What are those biggest rodents in the world called? Tappybears?” -Brandon
 
 

Boatman’s Dyslexia

“My dyslexia is kicking in.” -Boatman

(mumbling to me) “Probably cuz his eyes are so far apart.” -Brandon

 
 

Diseases!

“I wonder how many diseases I just got.” -Jessica

Walking through a cluster of gross people at Tiki.

 
 

Wife

(Coming up to me out of nowhere) “I just wanted to congratulate you on everything you do. I love having
you as a wife.” -Brandon
“I love you too.” -Me
“I didn’t say I love you. I said I loved having you as a wife.” -Brandon
 
 

I Love You, Too

“Pos, get up here.” -Me

“I love you, too.” -Brandon

“I didn’t say that!.” -Me

“But I still love you.” -Brandon

All of this said between the upstairs and downstairs of the house, in a whisper.

 
 

Fuzz Garden

“What? Is it fuzz garden?” -Brandon

Seeing my reaction to his fuzz-filled toes while taking his socks off.

 
 

Cat Scan

“I kinda wanna get a cat scan now.” -Brandon

Talking about his weird shaped, lumpy head.

 
 

Wolf

“This is a nice quality wolf.” -Aunt Linda

Pricing clothes for a garage sale and coming across a wolf shirt.